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I decided since I found it on his journal. - プディングが好き. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Laura

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I decided since I found it on his journal. [May. 21st, 2006|02:20 am]
Laura






Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero


LJ stalking horror - a report by sparkle_clover.



sarcasteak is stalking sparkle_clover
sarcasteak’s REAL name : Jacki Harris
sarcasteak’s REAL DOB : 23rd November 1982
Height :178 cm Weight : 88.7 kg
sarcasteak has dreamt about you : 7 times
sarcasteak became interested in you : 19th February 2005
sarcasteak’s latest dream about you
sarcasteak dreams that you are standing before them in a crowded train station, flailing your ass-naked body around the room. Just for them.
This is how sarcasteak describes your relationship behind your back
’sparkle_clover phoned the police on me again last night. I’m going to go around tonight and finish her off with my hunting knife.’
sarcasteak’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
sarcasteak enjoys collecting sparkle_clover’s dead pets for a living.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
sarcasteak is considering having reconstructive surgery on their earlobes so that they are similar in appearance to your own.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I think I’ve just creamed myself thinking about you. There’s no tissue paper in the house to clear up the mess so I’ve used this card instead.


The Police
No. calls to the police : 17 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"My names sparkle_clover, I’m ringing to report a stalker. Who is it? I don’t know their real name. I met them off an online community called Livejournal. Their username is sarcasteak. They’ve been sending me used condoms through the post. Could you please do something about this quickly? My mother opened the last letter. She nearly died of shock. Thanks"
sarcasteak’s Police File
sarcasteak would be a nothing more than a loveable rogue if it were not for their love of samurai swords.


Testimonies about sarcasteak
whymetoday - An overly camp drama queen
‘I always suspected sarcasteak was a little weird, but never THIS weird.’
ew_younerd - A deformed enuch
’sarcasteak and I never saw eye-to-eye. And I’m glad now we didn’t. What a fucking creep.’
icy_jade - The resident slapper
‘Fucking hell! This is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. sparkle_clover should really be in hospital receiving X-rays to the head.’
ladii_chocolate - Ex-priest
‘I always thought sarcasteak was a good kid. A bit shy but with a kind heart. How wrong was I?’



Ooh~hohoho! I love this!

linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: sarcasteak
2006-05-21 06:58 am (UTC)

Boo!!~

Stop revealing my antics to other people!!

>>’sparkle_clover phoned the police on me again last night. I’m going to go around tonight and finish her off with my hunting knife.'
Buwahahaha!! *sharpens knife*

>>sarcasteak would be a nothing more than a loveable rogue if it were not for their love of samurai swords.
What can I say? I'm attracted to sharp shiny things that cause bleeding~

>>‘I always thought sarcasteak was a good kid. A bit shy but with a kind heart. How wrong was I?’
It's always the quiet ones, silly~
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sparkle_clover
2006-06-08 08:52 am (UTC)

Re: Boo!!~

i just realized you're pretty fat, hohoho
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)